Reposted from420hussy.blogspot.com.
Life's a struggle. It shouldn't always have to be. I'm not setting out to change the world; I'm not trying to change government policy, though it would be nice. I'm propelled to shed light where I believe light needs to be shed. These are the facts of my mind.
The air is undulating again. Transparent shades of dust cycle before my blinking eyes. Light beams glare off the plastic rims of my glasses. Taking them off and putting on them on as I attempt to make sense of today's headlines in my Google Reader. They say air is invisible but I can feel it curve around me, slowly inhaling and exhaling carpet fibers. How do I feel? How do I not know how I feel? Am I supposed to feel like this? My head hurts just a tiny bit - yet with movement, a slight dizziness. There's a lump within my throat, a regurgitating feeling shooting up from my gut. I'm always burping something up (or wish I could). An indescribable nausea that's never bad enough to demand serious medical attention, yet impairs me enough to demand my constant attention.
But I'm not worried. It happens everyday.
I've searched and scoured online, read books, and spent many visits in doctor's offices. Blood tests and consultations. Nothing ever concrete. Perhaps its just a bad stomach acid? I get that from my father. And anxiety? My mother. I grew up hearing my OCD mother count letters in names and doing small tasks a specific number of times. As I witnessed this, I promised to myself that I would not let the OCD get through to me. As a result, I believed I developed a social anxiety. (I'm not anti-social; it's just hard for me to make new friends.) I never have near the amount of caffeine the average coworker ingests. Never ever coffee. Yuck.
Is it an anxiety disorder that I could easily overcome? I saw a therapist with a comb-over. He took my company's insurance. I believe it helped me (no more panic attacks) but the nausea just didn't go away. The doctors keep telling me there is nothing to be concerned about. I suppose it was nice to hear that I'm healthy. Extremely nice. So that means I'm supposed to deal with nauseous headaches for the rest of my life?
Medication made it all worse. I even stopped using pill-form birth control so as not to disturb my stomach's delicate balance. Psychoactive drugs tie my stomach in more knots. Not to mention becoming a total *****. The Xanex I was prescribed is addictive so I'm afraid to take too much, plus she won't keep prescribing it. It does nothing for the nausea but certainly calms down my naturally wired self. I tried all the natural and over-the-counter remedies, too: Ginger, peppermint tea, fish oils, meditation, and antacids. They all worked somewhat but the stomach issues persist.
I would also eat a lot. Always bread and crackers and chips in attempt to calm my stomach. Anything with carbs, a rather atypical diet. I've even changed my eating habits beyond that. Very little refined sugars (for the headaches), nothing spicy, very little caffeine (I may have tea or a piece of chocolate), and very little fried/greasy (I love fried foods, so I won't cut them out completely).
There is one thing that works. And it works so well. I actually stopped eating as much because it absolutely cures my stomach as quickly as I intake. It surprisingly takes away the dizziness; no longer do feel the air move as I stare into its blank abyss. I can focus! I can read! I can be as productive as a 50's housewife or Kamikaze pilot on speed. Too bad it's only partially legal in ten states. And don't even think of healthcare covering it.
Many people refuse to believe me; just because cannabis makes them dizzy and hungry, why would it take mine away? How does speed (amphetamines) help those with ADD to actually calm down and focus? Its a chemical reaction that no amount of perceived logic will help those understand who do not wish to. Cannabis completely and absolutely helps me to be the productive woman I was raised to be. And want to be. Too bad I can't take my medication at work. I'd be a much more effective employee.
I can't tell most of my family members, even less of my coworkers, and must be hush, hush about what I say online. I can't casually mention it on the street. And to any strong conservative, I'm just a no-good druggie pothead.
Answer:
druggy for smoking grass? hahahaha just enjoy another beer and be a hypocrite.
i dont smoke it myself by the way but the fact were having this debate about it being used for medical purposes shows how backward the drug policy is.
Sounds like a BS story to me. Or an educated druggie. I am not a conservative.
because you own stock in a drug company
A druggie making up excuses to continue their addiction? It can't be!!
I'm a child of the 70's. I don't like marijuana, personally. But I would never deny anyone's reason for smoking it -- ever.
I think society's starting to move in the right direction. Look at the old movie "reefer madness," which portrayed folks smoking marijuana and committing crimes such as murder (yeah, right. Most stoners I know would be too busy eating fritos and watching movies to kill anyone). Now look at how many states and places today are cool with medical marijuana or decriminalization.
Sure, there will always be the morons who chant "drugs are bad!" while they sip their beer.
But there are less of them every day and more people are waking up.
I get what you are saying, (and I do believe weed should be prescribed for certain muscular illnesses) but the fact is is that anxiety, panic attacks and OCD can commonly made worse by weed. Furthermore, in the past 20 years, a highly effective treatment has been developed for OCD and panic attacks. It's called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. If given the choice between supressing or masking unhelpful thoughts with a chemical aid (i.e. weed) or changing my thought patterns permantly with CBT, I'm going to go for the latter.
If you were ever interested in self-help in a non-chemical way, try the following steps:
1.Breathe properly - if you control your breathing, you control panic. As soon as you notice the signs of anxiety, check your breathing: breathe in slowly through your nose pushing your tummy out (to the count of 5 or so). Breathe out slowly and for a bit longer (to the count of 7 or so) through your mouth. Do not breathe rapidly or shallowly (in the chest area). This will soon restore the balance of oxygen and you will feel a lot better.
2. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy! CBT is proven to be the most effective thing for panic attacks, OCD and anxiety etc. It takes a bit of work, but it is super effective. (After 15 years of panic attacks, mine stopped completely). You can speak to your doctor about taking a course or you can take a course for free online at: www.livinglifetothefull.com It has been funded by NHS Scotland and has had great results thus far.
3. Try relaxation exercise tapes (progressive muscular relaxation). They really help if you practise often enough. This site has instructions on how to do it without the tapes (and other useful info): http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resource...
With each step practise makes perfect. (i.e. practise the steps every day, not just when you are feeling bad).
Best of luck!
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